“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” Dale Carnegie
Coach Nic here, one month into this new year. Hope everyone is out there crushing it but I need to tell all of you something...please don't get mad at me.
Ok, here it goes...your goals don't matter. There I said it. Phew, I've been wanting to tell all of you that for sometime now, and honestly I feel better that I got it off my chest. Now, If I've caught your attention then throw some protein powder in that shaker of yours, shake it vigorously, and read on.
About a month ago many of you set some lofty goals for yourself. Raise your hand if you are still working towards those goals.............
Hmmmm...I see not many of you are. That's why I strongly believe that your goals don't matter.
For those of you that are still working towards your goals, I applaud you. That's awesome and I hope you continue to crush it this year. If you have advice for those that are struggling please share it in the comment section below. The rest of you don't panic and don't think you have to wait until 2018 to give your goals another chance.
The reason many of you aren't working towards your goals anymore or aren't as consistent as you were a few weeks ago is because your goals were too lofty. They were so ambitious that they became a burden, you got stressed and overwhelmed and you just gave up. Understand that's okay and you're not alone. We've all been there. Even the most successful people. But the difference between you and successful people is that many of you quit, successful people don't. When successful people "fail", they don't view it as a failure, they see it more as an opportunity to learn and grow.
When successful people "fail", they don't view it as a failure, they see it more as an opportunity to learn and grow.
When we fail to reach a goal, we are less likely to want to push forward and keep going after it. That’s just human nature. We don't like to fail. It has a negative connotation to it. Most of us can relate to that. Who wants to be labeled a failure?
For those of you that quit, that gave up, that got stressed out...have no fear because Coach Nic is here to tell you how we can actually achieve those goals.
When making new changes in our lives, it's not easy. You're literally trying to create a new identity, a new you. You're attempting to create new habits that fall in line with what you are trying to achieve. The concept is easy but the application is hard. Many of you need to realize that the small habits you've made over the last five to ten years are what got you into this position in the first place. Now you want to bring change into your life, so you need to start developing new habits.
In order to create those new habits though we need to begin to shift our focus onto the long term, don’t focus on the end result. The long term and the end result are not the same thing. The end result is merely a byproduct of the work you put in and the work is a byproduct of the new habits you'll create. The end result is the finish line. Too many of us think about the finish line. Take a step back and look at everything that needs to be done in-between the start and the finish. Everything in between, that's the long term. That's where you need to shift your focus.
Think of it as a marathon. You know how you finish a marathon? One step a time. Cliche right?
Translated into your life:
One step at a time = 1% better every day
1% better = small new habits are being developed
Small new habits = New you/identity
New Identity = Vision coming to fruition
The long term is what you're working for. It's your vision, which is essentially what you're trying to build. It's where you see your life going. It's what you want to do and accomplish. Reverse engineer your vision and that will give you the small steps you need to take to achieve it. Understand that without a clear vision, you don't know what you're going after or what you want to get out of your life. The reason your vision is so important is that you will face hard times, adversity, and challenges. You will want to quit. If you're clear on your vision, it will keep you motivated. It will remind you why you can't quit. Why you need to take that next step. It reminds you of what you're working toward.
Let’s use weight loss as an example. Losing twenty pounds is a goal and it's an awesome goal. Quick question though...What happens after you've lost those twenty pounds? We don't have anything to build on, honestly we don't have anywhere to start. So instead let's create a vision. Your vision should be to develop a healthy life style.
With a vision in place it allows us to create a process. So we begin by asking ourselves "How can I create a healthy life style?" The answers you come up with will help you develop the process for obtaining that vision.
How to create a healthy life style:
- Research various forms of exercise
- Find one that interests you
- Try it
- If you enjoy it stick with it, if you don't return to step one
- Eat right
- Research healthy eating habits
- Slowly instill healthy eating habits
Extremely vague but stick with me. These are the small steps I’m talking about. These small steps will help you develop the new habits you need to achieve your vision. The act of taking these small steps is the process. You need to do physical activity and you need to eat better. By working towards your vision of a healthier life style you will lose weight but the main focus wasn't the weight it was the life style. Because if you don't lose those twenty pounds you will become discouraged and likely revert back to old habits.
"For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice - no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service.” John Burroughs
Here is where I become a hypocrite. I needed to tell all of you that whole sales pitch on having a vision before I could tell you this; Your goals do matter but it's how you word them. A goal of losing twenty pounds in a month for most of us isn't obtainable. Instead set a goal of working out twice a week for a month. That's something that can very easily be obtained. And after you become consistent, training twice a week you now met one of your goals. You've had a small victory! Yay! Look at you go.
As you continue to develop new habits you can make the goals a little bigger. So after you've got working out twice a week down, we can now move onto working out three times a week. Then once that habit is down we can create a little bigger goal. Hopefully you see where I'm going with this. It's a process and it takes time.
[Shameless plug: If you need help with the developing the processes and understanding the small steps feel free to email me firstname.lastname@example.org ]
But the biggest thing I can tell you is to commit to the process. Commit to taking the small steps. Embrace the fact that it won't be easy BUT if you want it bad enough it'll be worth it. See, many of you want instant gratification. You want that weight gone now, you want that dream job now, you want to deadlift 700 pounds now. But it doesn't work that way. After a month, you give up because you're no where close. You think ten years of bad eating habits can be reversed overnight? Sorry it doesn't happen that way. How it does happen is with hard work, persistence, and patience.
While your goals are important, many of you beginning a new journey create extremely lofty goals instead of looking at the long term. Goals are short term. Look, I've been there. I'll write down six goals I want to accomplish. I'll be so amped and excited but then in a month I get so overwhelmed, I end up giving up on all of them and it's a downward spiral from there.
Here's where I give all of you some tough love.
The "goal" sounds good, it looks good, it's shiny and it's pretty. But you don't want it bad enough. That's why many of you will never change. It's too hard. You don't want to put in the work. You're content on not changing and that's okay. Don't beat yourself up over it. If you don't want it you don't want it. If you want it bad enough then you know what? Make it happen. What’s the worst thing that could happen if you go all in on your vision? What is the absolute worst thing? Nothing. Nothing bad will happen when going after what you want. You know what really happens? You end up getting what you want. Understand it won't be easy though. It will require sacrifices. It'll be boring before it gets exciting.
Your goals don't matter. Your vision does. Be clear about it and go after it.
Be different. Build your own road. Go all in on you...you owe it to yourself.
I dare you.